The month of Love! I dedicate this month to you and for you! What are you doing to celebrate loving and appreciating you?
The holiday, Valentine's day to some is a reminder to let someone special know your love and appreciation for them. It's fun looking for the adorable and funny cards expressing your love, the decadent chocolates, yummy, (even though right in the middle of my healthy eating program) having a chocolate nugget or two is my little gift to me, to express my self-love and how well I am doing on the program.
Although, it wasn't always like that. I remember when loving myself was not on the list of having to's for me. In fact, I convinced myself the less I thought of taking care of me and thought more of taking care of those around me the better I would feel. Right? Just knowing I was making others happy was all I needed. No, not at all!
If someone did offer to help, I would say, "No, I got it, go relax". After a while, people would stop asking, because "Super Women" has this! But, inside, I had feelings of not being good enough, so I must prove my self-worth to everyone...by being self-sacrificing to everyone I loved. After a while, I began to feel unappreciated, undervalued, sometimes like I didn't matter to those I loved most. Sadness and resentment would soon follow. Such a vicious cycle.
My inner saboteur convinced me, I was undeserving, and suppose to give, give, give, and not have anything back. My cup to refill my self-love and appreciation for who I am was empty; I was giving everything to others and not allowing anything to come back to me. Not knowing or realizing at the time, I could do the things I love to do for my family and that it's ok to ask for help, or be good to me, by doing fun things I enjoy doing for myself.
Well, that was a long time ago, since then I discovered the importance of letting go of control/fear and allowing myself to receive the love others hold for me, the love I have for myself, and the love God always has for me. That is what I want for everyone; to experience and embrace love and acceptance for ourselves. If we don't have those gifts for ourselves, how can we honestly have love and value for others?
I ask this again,"What are you doing to celebrate loving and appreciating you?"
In the article below,I share proven strategies to help you stay in awareness and make the choice to embrace who you are, value yourself for the many gifts you have to make a difference, and have fun and joy doing it!
Happy Valentine's Warriors of Wisdom!
Blue Skies, Peace, and Blessings, Wanda
Learning to Live With (and Love) Yourself
Have you ever said, "I'd be happy if....." or "If I could only...I would be happy"? You're not alone, some think they would be happy if they could just change their weight, their looks, or maybe their job. Others may believe that they are an okay person except for certain personality traits, such as anxiety, impatience, low confidence, and so on. For many others, their shelves are bulging with self-improvement books; some read them all and some just find comfort knowing they are there...but they still struggle with loving themselves for who they are.
Who among us doesn’t believe that with a little tweaking, we could be just right—self-realized, self-actualized and self-helped to just short of perfection? But, the problem for many is that all the books, self-improvement tips, and positive affirmations don’t seem to make us any happier. Worst of all, the minute we think we need to “fix” one ugly piece of ourselves, another nasty monster rears it's head and starts screaming for attention. When the truth of it is, we don't need to be "fixed" at all!
When does self-help become self-hell? What would happen if we simply started by realizing how wonderful we already are?
As the pioneering psychologist, Carl Rogers once wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
“Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” writes Tara Brach, in her book, Radical Acceptance. “The more we anxiously tell ourselves stories about how we might fail or what is wrong with us or with others, the more we deepen the grooves—the neural pathways—that generate feelings of deficiency.” She lists common ways people try to manage this pain of inadequacy:
Anxiously embarking on one self-improvement project after another.
Holding back and playing it safe rather than risking failure.
Withdrawing from our experience of the present moment and living in the past.
Keeping busy and not allowing ourselves time to relax or ponder.
Becoming our own worst critics.
Focusing on other people’s faults.
“Convinced that we are not good enough, we can never relax,” Brach writes. “We stay on guard, monitoring ourselves for shortcomings. When we inevitably find them, we feel even more insecure and undeserving. We have to try even harder.”
Accepting ourselves does not mean self-indulgence or being passive. Rather it means turning off the shameful, negative, self-loathing tapes within ourselves and just relaxing. "Enjoy the moment."
The blaring voices of our culture certainly don’t help, with promises that buying something, owning something, achieving something will make us better people, that success is measured by looks, wealth or possessions. A healthier life finds deeper meaning and greater satisfaction in self-love, compassion, intuition, taking responsibility and forgiveness (particularly of ourselves).
Sometimes it is our so-called faults that can actually lead us to a healthier life. Pioneering psychologist Carl Jung called it our “shadow side,” that part in all of us we are ashamed of and that we often reject. Understanding and accepting that shadow side can lead to enormous freedom and self-acceptance.
Science and research have revealed much about what we can and cannot change about ourselves, according to Martin Seligman, Ph.D., author and Director of Clinical Training in Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. “Some of what does change are under your control, and some are not,” he writes in his book, What You Can Change and What You Can’t: The Complete Guide to Self-Improvement.
Seligman lists some characteristics that are easier to change, such as everyday anxiety, specific phobias, panic, anger and certain beliefs about life. He advises people to discard the notion of changing that which hurts the most (for example, your extra weight) and instead concentrating on those parts of yourself that will respond most successfully to your efforts to change them (for example, your shyness or impatience with your spouse).
In the end, all the energy we put out to change ourselves may just take us back to where we started—to ourselves. And if we can truly accept ourselves as we are, that’s the best place to be.
Five Ways to Love Yourself:
Stop criticizing yourself. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
Be gentle with yourself. Praise yourself and support yourself.
Love your negatives. Acknowledge that they fulfilled a need and now you don’t need them anymore.
Take care of yourself. Take care of your body in the ways that please you.
Do it now. Don’t wait until you get well, or get sick, or lose the weight or get the new job or the new relationship. Begin now. And do the best you can.
—from Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Thoughts to ponder:
Some time ago, I heard a song that included this line: "I am perfectly incomplete; I am working on my masterpiece." I'm not sure what the song writer's message was wanting to imply....but when I first heard these words, I interpreted them for me as, "It's okay to be me." I don't have to be like anyone else or I am me, unique yet connected to a higher source my life experiences, my mistakes, do not define me, but instead are necessary for me to evolve into the masterpiece I am designed to be, a masterpiece I embrace and love; a masterpiece I see in others.
By Wanda King
Coming in March 2017- You Won't Want to Miss!
Feminine, Fabulous, & Fierce!
Three-Month Women's Empowerment Training / Group Coaching Event
Unleash Your Greatest Asset, YOU!!
Begins March 22, 2017 - 3:00 PM PST / 6:00 PM EST
Finally, you can defeat that negative inner saboteur voice that devalues your ideas, demotivates you to take actions that could potentially move you to the next level of success, that nagging voice that says “you’re not good enough”, “give up, you are going to fail”, “you’re not qualified for the promotion”, “you will never lose that weight, just give up”; it is that saboteur voice that has become part of your everyday internal conversation that keeps you from your highest potential of success. It’s time to put on the “gloves” and take control of your life, have the joy you deserve, have the courage to commit to what you want; simply by making a shift from your fearful-negative saboteur to your “Inspired-Powerful” self!
This powerful three-month live training & group coaching program provides you the flexibility to learn from the comfort of your home or office a few hours each month and gives you all the tools and insights you need to awaken your "Feminine, Fabulous, and Fierce Inspired Self" and then release your courageous and empowered self to the world!
Here is a brief Summary of what you will receive:
March- We dive into how to defeat that inner saboteur voice that uses fear to devalue, demotivate and destroy your self-worth, self-love, and any hope of achieving the success you were meant to experience in life.
April- We learn to step into our higher self, our confident and empowered self! Using tools we developed in the Fear-to-Fierce course and additional strategies that will help cultivate a greater level of self-confidence, self-worth, and empowerment, to give you strength to walk in any room with your head high, standing tall, and in command!
May-Brings it all home! Before, fear kept you from taking risks among many other things; Now, you are one more step closer to that courageous, positive, confident, and empowered women! You are given proven strategies and powerful methodologies that help you gain the momentum you need to take risks needed to grow your business, get the career advancement and success you never thought you could have, lose the weight you thought was impossible to lose, have that loving relationship you thought were just in the movies! The lists go on and on, of all the possibilities and opportunities that are waiting for you! Yes, these things are possible! I know, because I have implemented these strategies for years for my personal successes! Now, I want to share these strategies with you!
This is a powerful self- transformational workshop where you will meet other amazing women like yourself, have fun, share stories, support each other, and be there for each other's successes and transformations!
Beloved Sisters, isn't it about time you take a stand and reclaim your self-love, self-value, and empower yourselves to be what you are meant to be; Yes, you are Mothers, Sisters, Wives, Daughters, and Leaders. But, you are also Warriors of Wisdom too! Perhaps, the warrior side has been hidden for many years, and you have forgotten your true self. Isn't it time to become reacquainted with your Inspired self? Only you can make the choice to move from fear and status quo to fierce and leading edge; sharing our wisdom with the world, empowering ourselves and our daughters to communicate love and value for ourselves and outwardly to the world!
"What are you doing to celebrate loving and appreciating you?" "How do you show up to the world now?" "How do you want to show up to you?" "To the world?" The choice is yours.
Don’t wait a moment longer, it is about time that you stand up and ROAR your self-worth, your self-confidence, your decisiveness, your intelligence, your feminine goddess, your empowerment…whatever it is that you want for yourself, it is up to you to create it!
Click the button below, if you want more information on what “Feminine, Fabulous, and Fierce” program offers and how you can achieve your highest potential and receive unconditional love & support from other magnificent women such as yourself who want the same thing for you and for themselves.
Forward this email to a friend! The Feminine & Fabulous Newsletter is published once a month by Discover Clear Vision, which provides mindset transformation coaching and strategies for anyone who wants to live their life with self-worth, confidence, and courage to take the risks to have a fulfilling, life of love, joy, and making their dreams a reality.